Archive for May, 2009

I often wondered why it is that the maid of honor and the bridesmaids must all look as similar as possible in a wedding party. Why the same color and style of dress? Yes, it looks uniform, classic and has a nice flow to it, but it also leaves out that element of individuality.

I, on the other hand think a bit of diversity and being able to inject one’s own personality into the wedding look is desirable. That is why I was delighted to see that when Carrie Bradshaw was to marry Mr. Big in the Sex and the City movie, all of the girls looked lovely in their long dresses- that were neither the same style nor the same color!

Samantha looked fantastic in her red gown while Miranda’s blue gown suited her to a tee. Charlotte was most becoming in her elegant black gown. And of course, Carrie wore white. White for a bride is still my chosen color as certain traditions are best upheld.

We are creating new wedding rules for the millennium that show a degree of flexibility. Some rules remain in place, but others are being bent somewhat. What else is happening in the wedding world?

Rituals are undergoing some gender bending, even as you read this. Do you prefer a man of honor to a maid of honor? Or how about a best woman instead of a best man? Sure, why not! If you are a bride whose best friend is a man or a man whose best friend is a woman, then many couples decide to incorporate that element into their wedding. It makes sense if that is the reality of your life.

While it has been common for some time now for some brides to choose to keep their maiden names or to hyphenate the two names, a new trend to emerge when it comes to the name game is to blend the two last names together in order to come up with a new name! According to a recent poll conducted by WeddingChannel.com, 15 percent of brides-to-be said that the concept of a blended name appeals to them.

There are plenty of twists on traditional wedding rules that are happening all of the time.  For example, if you have no father or grandfather, you might opt for a female family member to walk you down the aisle.

What new wedding rules can you think of?

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These days almost anything goes (almost) when it comes to taste, style, and traditions.  What used to be mandatory when your parents got married has now become optional.  Reasons to forgo familiar traditions include monetary issues, cultural clashing, and even personal reasons.  However, if you do find something on the list that you absolutely must do, go ahead. But if not, then feel free to skip traditions that don’t appeal to you.  Here are such traditions.

Over The Top Receptions
These days the economy is tightening everyone’s budget, and thus modern brides and grooms opt for cheaper and chic alternatives. Ideas include skipping a large meal and replacing it with a cocktail party; staying in the United States for the honeymoon instead of jetting off to the Caribbean; buying cheaper (and more eco-friendly) wedding stationary. These days, less is more.

Rigid Rules
Sure, weddings are still formal, but that doesn’t mean you need to abide by certain rules if they cramp your style. Your bridesmaids don’t need to wear the same dress, they can wear dresses in the same color family. You also can ditch the arranged seating, which would not only relieve stress on your part, but it also leaves a more friendly experience for your guests.

Unnecessarily Wasteful Traditions
Want to know a little secret that saves time, money, and even the environment? Forgo useless items and replace them with something smarter like skipping the throwing  rice tradition and light sparklers.  And those tacky little wedding favors (something that often gets left behind or thrown away) can be replaced with acknowledging each guest at the reception. And even if you can’t, your guests will leave the wedding with memories, which is what really counts.

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Weddings bring families together in a literal sense, so it is important to know that the whole planning process is no cakewalk. You’re not only dealing with your own family, you’re dealing with your fiancé’s as well, and everyone has different ideas and dreams for your wedding. That said, it is your wedding, and you don’t need your idea derailed. Here are two common issues you may come across and how to deal with them wisely.

Who Pays Is The One Who Plans
First of all you need to devise a budget plan, who is paying for what. Depending on who is paying the highest percentage of the total wedding costs (say, your parents), they do have some say when it comes to the planning process. However, you don’t need to be a doormat to everything they want. After all, it is your wedding! Learn the art of compromise.

The Bride’s Fiancé Won’t Contribute To Wedding Plans
If he doesn’t want to contribute ideas or money, it is time to get him involved. Arguing isn’t going to work, but you do need to ask him what he wants to do. If he’s reluctant, tell him that the planning process is hard to do alone and that you really would appreciate it if he helped. If he makes less money than you, you still can work out a plan that both of you can contribute to equally.

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You have been asked to be a maid of honor. Perhaps it is your best friend’s upcoming nuptials, your sister’s or your cousin’s. You are so excited to have been asked, as you consider it to be an honor. Now what?

The duties that are designated to a maid of honor are not written in stone and can vary from person to person. Some brides will want their maid of honor to play an integral role in all wedding preparations, whereas others may not require as much of a helping hand.

Regardless of which situation describes yours, there are certain duties that are important to observe when you find yourself sitting at the right hand of a bride (so to speak).

It is your job to keep her as happy as possible. One of the most important jobs of a maid of honor is to be supportive of the bride. Listen to her when she wants to talk, offer advice when she asks for it, and be encouraging and upbeat!

Wedding planning can be stressful for everyone concerned (possibly including you). Make sure that you get the bride away from the wedding frenzy whenever possible, so her stress levels don’t reach the boiling point. Go for a walk or drive together or go out for coffee and spend time talking about anything other than the wedding.

A certain amount of wedding planning may be allocated to you. Make sure you find out from the bride what she wishes for you to do before you go ahead with anything in particular.

Some of the wedding planning that the maid of honor may be asked to participate in includes:

• Helping to research and choose the site for the wedding ceremony and/or the reception
• Shopping for a wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses
• Shopping for the wedding invitations, as well as decorations and wedding favors
• Meeting with caterers, photographers and videographers
• Working on the gift registry
• Planning the seating arrangement for the reception
• The bridal shower and bachelorette party are the responsibility of the maid of honor and bridesmaids to arrange.
• The maid of honor may be asked to help with the preparations for the rehearsal dinner.
• As a maid of honor you will need to write a speech to toast the bride at the wedding.

Enjoy!

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