Archive for For the Groom

Planning your honeymoon can be as simple as 1-2-3, if you are smart and do things in an organized fashion. Read on for some tips for planning your dream honeymoon.

-You can book your trip directly by way of the Internet or through a travel agent, regardless of whether you need to book plane fare or a trip on a cruise.

-When booking your trip make sure that you make it known that this is your honeymoon. This could mean that you will be granted a discount, will be upgraded or that you will get an extra of one sort or another.

-A visa is required to enter another country. Make sure you find out what other type of documentation you require before you book your honeymoon. If you already have a passport, make sure that it is current and will not expire while you are enjoying time with your new spouse!

-While the Internet can provide you with plenty of information to help plan your trip, it never hurts to buy a travel book such as Frommer’s or Fodor’s. Travel books can provide you with lots of valuable insights such as listings for various accommodations, points of interest and options for transportation.

-Knowing how to dress for the various places you plan to go on your honeymoon makes a difference. You do not want to be overdressed or underdressed for dinner after all!

-If you plan to change your name to your husband’s after you get married, then either book your honeymoon under his name or book it under your maiden name. You don’t want any confusion or problems to result if you book it under Mr. and Mrs. Ross. You will need to book the honeymoon before your wedding and your identification will reflect your maiden name as you will not have had the opportunity to change it just yet.

-If you plan to travel to another country for your honeymoon, familiarize yourself with the customs of the country in question before you go.

-Do not forget to do the obvious- take time off work to get married, and go on your honeymoon!

-Do you have travel medical insurance? Find out if the extended medical coverage through your workplace is enough. If it is not, consider buying some more. You can do this through your bank or through the travel agent.

It is not uncommon for a bride or groom (or both) to suffer cold feet before the big day arrives. Also sometimes referred to as pre-wedding jitters or second thoughts, cold feet often revolve around uncertainty and fear. Some people suddenly question the decision they are making and find themselves lacking courage and confidence.

It is perfectly normal to find yourself at a point where you are stressed out, restless, anxious and unsure. Often cold feet are simply a culmination of all of the tension that builds up in preparing for a wedding.

Be aware that a case of cold feet can be a good thing. It provides you with the golden opportunity to take a serious look at your relationship and ask yourself what marriage means to you.

Individual Cold Feet and Relationship Cold Feet

Cold feet can be broken down into two types- individual cold feet and relationship cold feet. How can you tell the difference between the two? If you are dealing with insecurities and fears related to marriage in a general way, such as worrying about loss of independence once you become a married woman or hoping that you will make a good wife, then you are suffering from individual cold feet. Relationship cold feet on the other hand is when you have specific fears about marrying your partner.

How to Cope

It is necessary for you to dig deep into your psyche and explore the reasons behind your fears and insecurities. Certain fears may be “deal breakers” and will signal to you that getting married at the moment is not a good idea. On the other hand, some worries are smaller issues that you simply need to talk out with a family member or friend. Recognizing the existence of cold feet is important, but you must not overreact to it and make it larger than life.

If it is the groom who is suffering from a case of cold feet, then encourage him to write a list of the fears and insecurities that assail him. Doing this can bring the situation into sharper focus and can provide perspective when it is needed most.

Amid the craziness of planning for the wedding, make sure the two of you spend quality time together that DOES NOT involve talk of the upcoming nuptials at all. Enjoy a drive in the country or a simple walk in the park.

Let us continue our look at a variety of wedding customs and traditions passed down from one generation to another.

Throwing Rice

Rice is a symbol of fertility. In years gone by, a newly married couple had grain, rice or nuts tossed on them as they left their wedding reception. Showering the couple with rich was meant as a way to shower them with blessing for a happy marriage and lots of children. In Asia the throwing of rice symbolized a “full pantry”.

Today the throwing of rice is meant for the blessings of prosperity, happiness and long life. Although traditionally rice was thrown, today it is often not.

Wedding Party

It was the belief of the ancient Romans that jealous demons meant to do harm to the soon-to-be-married couple. The wedding party, consisting of groomsmen and bridesmaids, was created in order to protect the couple. All of the members of the wedding party dressed in a manner similar to the bride and groom in order to confuse the demons. The demons, therefore, were unable to figure out which two people were getting married.

Tossing of the Garter

The garter toss of today comes from an old British ritual that was known as “flinging the stocking”. After a couple got married, the guests would make their way into the couple’s bedroom and take a stocking. The guest would then throw the stocking. The first guest that was able to hit the bride or the groom on the nose with the stocking was believed to be the next person who would get married.

Honeymoon

In years gone by, brides were captured by their grooms and then held hostage until their families made the decision to end the search. A close friend of the groom (which is how the tradition of the best man began) was given the job of keeping the bride’s family at bay in order for the couple to make their escape. The word “honeymoon” refers to the time that follows the capture. The newlyweds would hide for a period of 30 days (which equaled one full moon) and drink something called mead. Mead was a drink that was made from fermented honey and water. It is still used in many areas to toast newlyweds in modern society.

Threshold

The Romans carried their brides over the threshold in order that the demons would be unable to trip her and ruin her special day.

Should bachelor and bachelorette parties be combined? Some folks feel that these types of pre-marriage parties are meant to be separate, as women need their time to spend with one another and so do men. Other people would argue that bachelor and bachelorette parties can get out of control, and therefore, a combined event is best. What do you think?

The bachelor and bachelorette parties are meant to be about men and women getting together with their friends to bond and have a good time. For most individuals, these parties are enjoyable and completely harmless. They are an opportunity to have some fun, enjoy good food and drinks, reminisce about the past and laugh up a storm.

In historical times, the bachelor party was a very formal black tie affair that was given by the groom’s best friends. In today’s modern society, bachelor parties are rarely formal but can be plenty of fun and boisterous as well. Some bachelor parties include strippers and the like, but the overall purpose is to simply relax and have fun.

A bachelorette party is the female equivalent of a bachelor party. Traditionally the only form of female celebration a woman received before her wedding was a bridal shower, which was very prim and proper as the mother and grandmother were usually in attendance. The bachelorette party provides an opportunity for a bride to go out for an evening with her closest friends and/or sisters and have as good a time as her groom-to-be is having.

Some people choose to have what is known as a stag and doe party, which is a tame version of the bachelor and bachelorette party and is, for all intents and purposes, a combined party that both sexes attend. A stag and doe party (or buck and doe party) is co-ed in nature, but it also has another purpose- to earn money for the upcoming nuptials. In other words a stag and doe party is a pre-wedding party where guests must purchase tickets, and the money is used to help pay for the upcoming wedding.

The decision as to whether the parties for the bride and groom should be separate or combined is a decision only the couple can make for themselves. Some couples even opt to do both on separate occasions! Whatever you decide to do, have fun doing it!

An engagement ring is a symbol of the promise to marry. It is also a symbol of the commitment to join as one in a lifelong relationship as husband and wife. While an engagement ring is not an absolute necessity in order to be married, in our culture it is extremely commonplace.

In western society an engagement ring is offered to a woman when a man proposes marriage to her. If she accepts, the ring is then placed on the second last finger of her left hand. This is her “ring finger”.

The tradition of the engagement ring dates back many years. It once was believed that the fourth finger of the left hand contained the vena amoris (or vein of love) and that this vein connected directly to the heart. This tradition has endured, and that is why today both engagement rings and wedding rings are placed on this most special of fingers. Husband and wife were then thought to be “joined at the heart.”

The tradition of diamond engagement rings began with the Italians. In Italy it was once believed that diamonds were derived from the “flames of love” and therefore clearly represented the bonds of everlasting love.

The first people to make use of rings for a romantic purpose were the French. In the sixteenth century Frenchmen presented the women they loved with what was known as gimmal rings. Gimmal rings were intertwined but were designed with a tiny slit in the gold. The purpose of the slit was that once a man proposed marriage and a woman accepted, each wore one of the rings during the period of engagement. On the wedding day during the ceremony, the groom would remove his ring and give it to the bride who would then wear the two rings together as one.

Diamonds are the most popular stone for an engagement ring. Their popularity began in the early 20^th century. It was once believed that the price for an engagement ring equated to two month’s of salary for the hopeful groom-to-be.

Those who cannot afford this should not let it distress them as there are plenty of simple styles of engagement rings today that are beautiful but have a more reasonable price tag. Some people decide to forego diamonds and choose another type of stone all together. Men who know their beloveds well will know how to choose a ring that she will adore.

Traditionally speaking, the purpose of a wedding engagement is to give the happy couple the opportunity to get to know each other as well as they possibly can. There is no diehard rule on how long an engagement is supposed to be as society has dramatically changed over the years.

A wedding engagement allows the family members on both sides to become well acquainted. This is important because they will soon become in-laws. Some people refer to this as “house blending”. Many talks need to occur between the engaged couple and the two families that make the period of engagement crucial.

The engagement period can be a stressful time, but the benefit of this is that it tests the strength of the bond that exists between the couple. How do they handle the difficulties and stressors that come their way? Each person gets a glimpse into how the other copes with pressure. It is essential to pay close attention, as this could play a much larger role once you cross the line from being engaged to being married.

How Much Time does it take to Plan a Wedding?

Another purpose of an engagement is that a wedding is not something that can be thrown together in an instant. Instead it takes planning. This also can be a source of stress, as family members from both sides are likely to want to be a part of the planning stage.

As a rule of thumb, wedding engagements should last long enough that your loved ones and close friends have ample time to get to know the person with whom you have chosen to spend your life. This should be the case for the bride and the groom. You are merging two families as your union is a uniting of his family and her family.

Engagements should never be shorter than three months but should not be stretched out for years and years. Look closely at your own circumstances and make the decision that is right for the two of you.