This is part two and the conclusion of Wedding Etiquette Myths Debunked. Last week  I discussed issues like who pays for the wedding, whether should you invite everyone you know, and if you should cover the guests hotel accommodation expenses.  Read below for more wedding myths debunked.

6- In The Age Of Modern Technology, Thank-You Notes Are Not Necessary.

The time and energy spent on selecting the perfect gift hasn’t changed, and neither should the time and energy spent on crafting a thank-you note.  But that doesn’t mean you should send out pre-made thank-you notes either. Instead, buy a box of  fine stationary or blank thank-you cards, and write up a heart-felt letter to show your appreciation for the gift.

7- Couples of Different Faiths Should Choose One Faith To Base The Ceremony On.

Since a wedding is all about unity, it would only make since to combine both your religious beliefs and traditions into the ceremony.  Make sure that you discuss your plans and traditions with your fiance beforehand and find out if your church/synagogue/other house of worship can acommodate.

8- All Bridesmaids Must Be Female

This rule is as outdated as the rule that states that the bride must be given away by her father.  If you’re a bride and your best friend (other than your fiance) happens to be male, there is nothing wrong making him a bridesman or even a man of honor.

9- If You Can’t Afford Serving Drinks At The Wedding, Offer A Cash Bar

There is nothing more tacky than asking the guests at your wedding to pay for their own cocktails and wine.  If you can’t afford a bar at your wedding, then serve the basics: beer, alcohol, and non-alcoholic drinks. Another option is to offer a cocktail hour before the meal is served, and then serve wine with the meal.

Bachelor and bachelorette parties are most often held anywhere from one to three weeks before the wedding day. In most cases these pre-wedding events are hosted by the best man and the maid of honor respectively. They tend to be focused on the celebration of friendship as opposed to the celebration of family. With this said, should the parents of the bride and the groom be included on the guest list?

A bachelor party is a time when male bonding occurs. A bachelorette party also provides an opportunity for women to bond as friends in their own unique way. It is also a way for women to celebrate the upcoming union.

There are some men that decide to invite their fathers and/or their fathers-in-law to be to the bachelor party. The decision to do so rests on how the groom feels about this. Many men are nervous about having their future father-in-law at the party because they feel that they must be on their best behavior and must be more restrained than they would be otherwise. On the other hand, inviting the groom’s father may provide him with the chance to feel young again and to really cut loose!

Traditionally speaking, neither the mother of the bride nor the mother of the groom is invited to the bachelorette party. This pre-wedding bash is all about the bride and her closest female friends. It is the bridal shower held in the bride’s honor and not the bachelorette party that both mothers are invited to attend. The two events are different. A bachelorette party is an opportunity for the bride to let her hair down and to relax and have a good time with her closest gal pals. She may feel that this would not be possible if she were under the watchful (and sometimes very scrutinizing) eye of her mother or future mother-in-law.

When the guest list is drawn up for both parties the bride and groom should let the host/hostess know to whom they wish to extend invitations. The final decision to invite or not to invite parents to the bachelor/bachelorette parties rests with the bride and groom. Bear in mind that there are plenty of other opportunities for the parents to be a part of the joyous celebration of the marital union.

The best man in a wedding is generally the brother of the groom. If the groom does not have a brother or stepbrother, then he may choose either a close friend of his or the brother of the bride, if she has one and if the two men are close.

It is the job of the best man to be the groom’s right hand man. He is the person who takes care of the groom’s needs and must be a responsible individual who is good at organizing. The role of best man is one that must be taken seriously.

It is the best man who throws the bachelor party for the groom. He can accept input and help from other people involved, but the crux of the responsibility falls on his shoulders. The best man must buy or rent his own tuxedo and shoes for the wedding, and in most cases he must pay for his own travel and accommodations if he is coming from afar.

He also is expected to act as a guide or leader for the groomsmen in making sure that everything to do with the tuxedo fittings goes as smoothly as possible, including making sure each one knows the date, time and place.

If the groomsmen are acting as ushers in the wedding, then the best man needs to be able to organize the gentlemen and coach them on their jobs where he sees fit. The best man and maid of honor traditionally are supposed to work together in organizing any special dinners being held for the bride and groom and/or the wedding party. It is their task to decide on a location and a date and time, as well as any extras that are needed for the occasion. The best man and maid of honor typically pay for the meals of the bride and groom while each member of the wedding party pays for his/her own meal.

In some weddings the best man escorts the maid of honor down the aisle. It is also the best man who gives a speech at the reception and makes a toast to the newlyweds. Of course, the most important job of the best man’s is to be a friend and confidant to the groom!

The decision of whether or not to change your name after you marry is a big one for a woman. A name is very much tied in with a woman’s identity and her family history. There are a variety of options when it comes to what to do in this area.

Some women choose to change their names but still go by their maiden names when it comes to their profession. For example, Kelly Cummings marries Mark Lively. In her professional life Kelly may use Cummings as her name, but to everyone else in her life and her social circle she is now Kelly Lively.

There are other name options to consider. For our purposes we will continue to use the example of Kelly Cummings and Mark Lively.

The most common choice is for the wife to drop her last name and take her husband’s name. In this case, Kelly Cummings would become Kelly Lively. (Mark and Kelly Lively)

Another option which is popular is for both individuals to retain their birth names. (Mark Lively and Kelly Cummings)

Some women decide to take their husband’s name but to use their maiden name as a middle name. This probably will not be the best option for someone who already has a long middle name or for someone who has two middle names. In our example, it would look like this- Kelly Cummings Lively and Mark Lively. This option is becoming more popular all of the time.

Another option that is seeing a rise in popularity is for the husband and wife to use both names but to hyphenate them. (Kelly Cummings-Lively and Mark Cummings-Lively) For some people, however, this might do nothing but create confusion. It also means that both individuals must legally change their last names.

If a married couple decides that they want to keep their own last names, they might decide to use each other’s last name as a middle name. This can confuse some people and can present a problem depending on the middle name your parents gave you from birth. However, it is a viable option. (Mark Cummings Lively and Kelly Lively Cummings).

Other options that are slower to catch on including choosing a new last name all together, combining the two names together to make a new one, or the husband taking his wife’s name.

The dress code for a groom is dependent upon the type of wedding that he is having. If you choose a theme for the wedding, then that will dictate the suit of choice for the groom as well as the groomsmen. On the other hand, if you choose to have a traditional wedding then the suit of choice will be a morning suit.

Historically the traditional time of day for a wedding was the morning, and that is why a groom’s suit is referred to as a morning suit. Wedding ceremonies were held in the early morning hours and then followed up by a wedding breakfast. While morning weddings are not as common as they once were, if you wish to have a traditional wedding ceremony, then it is important that you get married before 3PM. For a traditional wedding such as this, the groom, as well as the best man, the bride’s and groom’s father, and the ushers must all wear morning suits.

A morning suit is sometimes called “top hat and tails” because the coat of the suit is longer in length and has a penguin tail. The trousers that are a part of the suit are either plain grey, pin-striped grey, blue or black. The shirt is a wing collar shirt, and it should have a covering waistcoat as well as a cravat.

In the past men wore an Ascot top hat with their morning suits as well as white gloves. Today, it is up to you whether you wish to wear the top hat or not while the gloves have gone by the wayside.

If you choose to follow your morning wedding ceremony with a formal black tie evening reception, which was once the customarily thing to do, then the groom can wear either a black or a white tuxedo jacket. A black tuxedo jacket is classic, but today it is really up to your own personal tastes. Choose a single or double-breasted jacket that has ribbed silk lapels but no covered buttons or vents.

A formal evening shirt is a must. Traditionally the style was a pleated shirt, but if you feel more at ease in a collared shirt then go with that. Choose pleated trousers with a row of braid in order that you can wear braces with them. In days gone past men word a cummerbund waistband, but today the style leans more towards a colorful waist coat.

Should bachelor and bachelorette parties be combined? Some folks feel that these types of pre-marriage parties are meant to be separate, as women need their time to spend with one another and so do men. Other people would argue that bachelor and bachelorette parties can get out of control, and therefore, a combined event is best. What do you think?

The bachelor and bachelorette parties are meant to be about men and women getting together with their friends to bond and have a good time. For most individuals, these parties are enjoyable and completely harmless. They are an opportunity to have some fun, enjoy good food and drinks, reminisce about the past and laugh up a storm.

In historical times, the bachelor party was a very formal black tie affair that was given by the groom’s best friends. In today’s modern society, bachelor parties are rarely formal but can be plenty of fun and boisterous as well. Some bachelor parties include strippers and the like, but the overall purpose is to simply relax and have fun.

A bachelorette party is the female equivalent of a bachelor party. Traditionally the only form of female celebration a woman received before her wedding was a bridal shower, which was very prim and proper as the mother and grandmother were usually in attendance. The bachelorette party provides an opportunity for a bride to go out for an evening with her closest friends and/or sisters and have as good a time as her groom-to-be is having.

Some people choose to have what is known as a stag and doe party, which is a tame version of the bachelor and bachelorette party and is, for all intents and purposes, a combined party that both sexes attend. A stag and doe party (or buck and doe party) is co-ed in nature, but it also has another purpose- to earn money for the upcoming nuptials. In other words a stag and doe party is a pre-wedding party where guests must purchase tickets, and the money is used to help pay for the upcoming wedding.

The decision as to whether the parties for the bride and groom should be separate or combined is a decision only the couple can make for themselves. Some couples even opt to do both on separate occasions! Whatever you decide to do, have fun doing it!